getting to know you!

Tara at our journey did a link up on what is in your diaper bag (0r purse if you carry one) to get to know you. So here is my diaper bag!

***Disclaimer: this diaper bag is HUGE! I plan on downsizing significantly as soon as I can get my hands on a good diaper bag... I think my mom is sending me one, and hopefully we can get what we need into that one bag. This thing is heavy!

1. change of clothes... because this kid spits up!

2. swaddler blanket thingy

3. 1 all day wetbag and 2 small wetbags (we haven't used the all day one yet.. but the small ones are awesome! we carry bottles with frozen ice balls in one, and dirty diapers or clothes in another)

4. puppy pad - great for changing in the car or on the go... I always want to sanitize the nasty ones in bathrooms, so this is awesome. I got the idea from my friend Tina (from a bean to a beanstalk)

5. disposable diapers

6. burp cloths... lots of them... because like I said, this kid spits up...

7. ID, USAREUR drivers license, debit card, iPhone, gum, chapstick, Mylicon, keys, cash, and paci in storage box

8. pads

9. nursing pads

10. cloth wipes

11. Desitin and coupon bag

12. nursing cover and Medela manual pump top (the bottle and pieces are next to the sink)

13. cloth diapers and a cover

14. disposable wipes

15. natural hand sanitizer

day 14

day 14- a picture of you and your family

{Daddy, Mommy, Hadley}

{our first picture as a family}

day 13

day 13- a letter to someone

Dear Hadley,

I'm sitting here watching you sleep on your blanket on the floor, listening to your little sighs while River Flows in You by Yiruma plays in the background. It's a beautiful song, and your calm happy noises blend with it and just make me feel peaceful.

You are so beautiful. I don't know where you got it... Probably your daddy. You don't look much like me, and I sometimes feel that you're lucky. I've never felt very beautiful. Your daddy makes me feel beautiful, but I think it's different to be beautiful and to feel beautiful. I can feel beautiful, but I don't think I will ever be beautiful. You are, and always will be. I mean that. I'm not just saying it because I'm your mommy.

I am not sure how I feel right now... Confused, I guess. I'm scared when I think about Daddy deploying. I'm happy to be your mommy. I'm scared of doing this alone while Daddy is gone, and I'm sad that he is going to miss so many milestones and memories with you. I am looking forward to letting you meet your family when we visit. I don't feel confident in my abilities as a mom... I am terrified of messing up. I want to give you everything you need, make you feel loved and cherished, smart, beautiful, and I want to help you grow up to be a capable, fulfilled, happy girl. I am not sure I can do that. But I'm going to try. I will give it my all, and hopefully that will be enough.

Sometimes I feel like a failure... You cry all day some days, no matter what I do or don't do, but as soon as Daddy holds you, all is well in the world. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I wish I could fix it. I know you love me and need me, and it makes me feel so much better when you smile or reach for me when I come in the room, even if you're laying next to Daddy.

Ok, I've blabbered on for a while now... Just know that Mommy and Daddy love you more than we ever knew was possible. You are a joy and a blessing.

Love,

Mommy

day 9

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days

My baby girl, and the photo shoot I did of her.

day 7

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

{my baby girl}

This precious little baby girl has a HUGE impact on me. She has changed me completely, forever, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

day 4

day 4 - a habit that you wish you didn't have

I worry too much! I worry about everything, and I need to just relax. It's hard though, especially now that I'm a mommy. I want to give my baby everything she needs, make her feel loved and cared for, and keep her from ever getting hurt in any way. That last part is impossible, yet I still worry about it! Oh well, I'm working on it.

day 2

day 2- the meaning behind your blog name

Mommy's Little Lumpkin

It means just what it says... Most of my blogging is about my daughter, and she is her mommy's little lumpkin. I also call her munchkin, squidfish (thanks to Sam and his love for that nickname), honey, doll or babydoll, sweetie, love, baby sweet...

That's pretty much it!

day 1

day 1 - recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

(2 weeks after c-section!)

1. I am the youngest of 5. Three boys, and two girls in the order of boy-boy-girl-boy-girl!
2. I was born overseas. Costa Rica to be exact.
3. I am bilingual - Spanish was my first language.
4. I wish my hair would hurry up and grow out the dyed stuff so it would be it's natural color again.
5. My favorite color is aqua/turquoise.
6. I love Disney and Pixar movies! ♥
7. I went to a private boarding highschool.
8. I added my senior year onto the 2nd semester of my junior year, along with switching schools (to a public school), having my gallbladder removed, getting engaged, planning a wedding, and getting married - all in a 6 month span!
9. I graduated highschool with high honors. A 3.985 GPA!
10. I did about 20 weeks of bedrest or pelvic rest (all together) during pregnancy.
11. I had hyperemesis for the first 18 weeks of pregnancy, so badly that I lost 14 pounds that I couldn't afford to lose in the first place.
12. I had to have a c-section because Hadley was breech from 22 weeks on, and didn't want to budge no matter what we did.
13. Sam and I got married on my 18th birthday. ♥
14. I am still head over heels in love with my husband after being married for 16 1/2 months. ♥
15. Sam and I are both head over heels in love with our baby girl! It's better than I could have ever imagined. ♥